I have a deep an abiding love for large tables with lots of people squished around them eating and laughing and enjoying each other’s company. I love potlucks, study sessions with snacks, big lazy breakfasts, traditional and non-traditional holiday gatherings, birthday dinners…the list goes on. In addition, I adore table linens, candles, centerpieces, and matched as well as mismatched sets of dishes. And goodness, I certainly enjoy the food! If there’s good people and good food—and especially if there are nice cloth napkins—I’m very happy to pull up a chair.
Is it any wonder I wrote a picture book about celebrations around the table?
These last few weeks I’ve been reminded that I love smaller gatherings around 
smaller tables, as well. This last month has certainly provided us with smaller table times and a particular awareness of who and what we miss. My daughter and I now take a break for afternoon tea around 3:30 each day—a lovely new tradition and boost for flagging afternoon spirits. Sometimes my husband is home for it. Sometimes we zoom others in.
It wasn’t until we hit the spring celebrations and religious observances that I grew verklempt. Our gatherings, by necessity, are quite different this year. When Jewish friends started planning their Passover Seders it hit me just how different. Dishes were still changed out, but not as many were needed at smaller tables. Nobody needed to store brisket in my refrigerator. (I, a celebrator of Easter, have never actually bought an Easter ham since we never host Easter. But we bought one this year and put it in the fridge where the brisket usually sits. It looked like an odd interloper.) Gone were the makeshift tables that wind out of the dining room and into the living room to seat twenty or more Seder guests. The challenge this year was finding room for the laptop so as to zoom in loved ones.
Some Seders were small. Some were skipped. Some were zoomed, and with more people gathered virtually than usually attend in person. I heard talk of zooming Passover another year even if circumstances do not require it.
Easter brunch/lunch/dinner doesn’t carry the same weight as a Seder, of course. But it is a time people gather and pull out the stops in terms of food and table setting. Usually we are at grandparents for the Easter lunch after church. But this year we were home, just us three. Minnesota had fairly heavy snowfall all day. It was a relaxing day. We cooked and baked, played games, took out the china and silver and set the table for three. The interloping ham was easy (and tasty), the scalloped potatoes (new recipe) were terrific, as was the sourdough bread my daughter made and the salad and buttered peas. The last minute panna cotta for dessert was just right.
It was just strange to be such a small table. My daughter commented that it was “totally doable” to use hand-wash-only china and silver for just three people. And it was. Our kitchen table will seat fourteen, more if you’re willing to squish. I kind of like to squish. And yet it was sweet to set just one end of the table, allowing for games and projects to remain out on the other end when it came time to eat.
All three Abrahamic faiths—Judaism, Christianity, and Islam—will have their observances changed this April 2020. Iftar meals, the evening meal that breaks the daily fasts of Ramadan, are often large spreads at large tables with large numbers of people…but not this year. Next weekend, all over the world, our Muslim sisters and brother will end each day by gathering with their nearest and dearest—those right in their home already—to feast. They’ll zoom other loved ones, maybe, just as Jews and Christians zoomed in previous weeks.
When I wrote Around The Table That Grandad Built, I wanted it to be an ode to family and friends gathering and preparing to celebrate around a festive table heavy with food, crowded with loved ones of all ages. I’ve been so thrilled whenever someone tells me they read it at their family’s special gathering. They tell me they like the simple thanksgiving at the end: For these hands we hold, for tasty good food, for family and friends, for grace that is given and love that is shared, we give thanks. These are things not to be taken for granted, as we are all learning anew during this sheltering-in-place time. And so I offer this thanksgiving for smaller gatherings at big or small tables this spring.
For tables large and small…
For these hands we hold, and those we miss…
For tasty good food bringing joy, tending health…
For family and friends, neighbors and kin…
For grace and kindness…
For love that is felt even while we are apart…
We give thanks.
Give thanks for all that is good amidst this year’s challenges, worries, and fears. Remember those who don’t have a table…don’t have food, family, or friends…don’t have anyone to Zoom…or anything to celebrate. Remember all who are ill and all who care for them. Stay home, stay well. Give thanks.
